Friday, September 23, 2011

Trust me!

When I make a mistake and you tell me "I told you so, didn't I?" I hear you telling me "I didn't trust that you knew even back then!" I either feel miserable about myself. Or if I feel too ashamed of letting anyone to see me as this 'miserable being' I fight back getting defensive.

When I make a mistake and you tell me (or just give me the looks that say) "Look what you have done!" I hear you telling me "I don't trust that you already know that you've made a mistake." I don't feel any motivation to act trustworthy.

When I make a mistake and you give me an understanding loving hug and tell me "It's ok sweetie. It happens!" I feel trusted. I hear you telling me "I trust that you already know you've made a mistake. I'm here to comfort you, so in the safety of that comfort you can work on yourself, learn from the mistake and try (as much as you can) to not repeat it."

So please love me. Please trust me. Please tell me I am worthy of it, so I can actually learn to be!

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Inspired by a beautiful thought by 'The Mother' from the book "How to bring up a child?"

There is a quality that must be cultivated in a child from a very young age: that is the feeling of uneasiness, of a moral disturbance which it feels when it has done certain things, not because it has been told not to do them, not because it fears punishment, but spontaneously. For example, a child who hurts his comrade through mischief, if it is in a normal, natural state, will experience uneasiness, a grief deep in its being, because what it has done is contrary to its inner truth.


For in spite of all teachings, in spite of all that thought can think, there is something in the depths which has a feeling of a perfection, a greatness, a truth, and is painfully contradicted by all the movements opposing this truth. If a child has not been spoilt by its milieu, by deplorable examples around it, that is, if it is in the normal state, spontaneously, without its being told anything, it will feel an uneasiness when it has done something against the truth of its being. And it is exactly upon this that later its effort for progress must be founded.

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