Friday, September 23, 2011

Pain Body

Whenever the word (emotional / spiritual / psychological) 'pain' comes up in my conversations with people, they immediately recognise it as something related to a certain kind of loss, abuse, separation, disappointment, assault, oppression, humiliation, etc. (Well, all this is pretty obvious. Isn't it?) And whenever I mention the word 'pain-body' (coined by master Eckhart Tolle), people usually understand it as 'a collective emotional body of such pains'.

I've talked about these words in my earlier post on 'chumming' (which I am aware that I need to write the sequel to). But, before that, I felt like writing a bit more about what I mean by the words 'pain' and 'pain body'. Reading The Mother's quote which I have used in the earlier post helped me articulate it with better clarity.

"There is a quality that must be cultivated in a child from a very young age: that is the feeling of uneasiness, of a moral disturbance which it feels when it has done certain things, not because it has been told not to do them, not because it fears punishment, but spontaneously. For example, a child who hurts his comrade through mischief, if it is in a normal, natural state, will experience uneasiness, a grief deep in its being, because what it has done is contrary to its inner truth.

For in spite of all teachings, in spite of all that thought can think, there is something in the depths which has a feeling of a perfection, a greatness, a truth, and is painfully contradicted by all the movements opposing this truth. If a child has not been spoilt by its milieu, by deplorable examples around it, that is, if it is in the normal state, spontaneously, without its being told anything, it will feel an uneasiness when it has done something against the truth of its being. And it is exactly upon this that later its effort for progress must be founded.

My inner truth is one that feels complete and safe, and does not need anything external to make it complete or feel safe. It tells me that I am born to realise this completeness. It is absolutely joyous and does not seek pleasure. It feels one with all of life and seeks to live every moment in service to it. It gives and shares with no expectations whatsoever. It is kind and loving. It creates, nurtures and cares. It is fearless, for there is nothing to fear. It is completely vulnerable at all times, for there is nothing to be guarded against anything at all. It always lives contented, fulfilled; immensely fulfilled. It knows that it has unlimited access to abundance. It knows that human life is one single strand in the web of life, and feels an immense responsibility to heal, for even if one of its strands is wounded (eg. oceans full of plastic waste), then all of life is wounded, for all life is one. It does not possess anything. My inner truth makes me surrender and flow with life, just as it unfolds. It accepts gracefully and with dignity. It is humble.

So, now let us see what are all those rarely acknowledged 'movements contradictory to this inner truth' that feed my pain body.

I feed my pain body, every time I seek a relationship with a partner expecting him / her to make me feel complete. When I accumulate wealth for my future security. Every time I am part of a race (of any kind) where in order to succeed, someone else must fail! When I seek pleasure, calling it happiness. I feed my pain body, every time I withhold from giving, from serving. Whenever I give in a transactional manner, expecting something in return. When I feel superior to someone. I feed it every time I feel self-righteous. Every time I oppress someone. When I yell at my servant, who I believe, exists in order to serve me. When I feel arrogant and indignant inside (being unconscious about it). When I mask my fears with a fake smile or with my masculinity. Whenever I want to "be in control". Whenever I resist what is. When (as a woman) I want to live like a man, with a "successful career" denying the beauty in nurturing (and my responsibility to nurture) my little one; i.e. deny my femininity. When I am at war with nature, wanting to conquer it with my arrogance.

Well, it looks like the human race is carrying one big pain body, and several different kinds - the female kind (which thinks it is not enough to be feminine), the male kind (which thinks too much of itself), the tribal kind (which is assaulted), the authority kind (which assaults) and so on. The forms are all different. But it's nature is one and the same.

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