Receive thy noble guest

I was reading Eckhart Tolle's 'Stillness Speaks' and paused at this beautiful line that struck a chord in me.

"When you receive whoever comes into the space of Now as a noble guest, when you allow each person to be as they are, they begin to change."
I haven't known anyone else closely, except Dilip, who did this with such grace!

Dilip Veeraraghavan

I had never imagined posting a eulogy on my blog. I write this while still not recovered from the grief of losing a good friend, a professor from the Humanities Department in IIT Madras, Dilip Veeraraghavan. He passed away early morning today after fighting colon cancer for many months. This is the very first time in my life that I'm facing the loss of someone I've known so closely!

I got to know Dilip about five years ago when I joined IIT. His room was on one end of the corridor where my office was. That's when I got to spend long hours with him. It took us one meeting to find out we had similar interests - from classical music, non-violence, Gandhi, sustainability, organic farming, alternative health systems to world peace. And a concern for the students we came to interact with.

Dilip could not see with his eyes. There is no other way to say this, since it would not at all be true if I said that he was blind, had no vision or that he could not see! Dilip was someone who had a deeper insight than almost all the people I've met have, into almost every issue under the sun.

I don't know if there has ever been (or there ever will be) in the history of IIT-M, any other professor who knew and stayed in touch with so many past and present students. Dilip remembered every one of those hundreds of students by his/her name, year of passing, department, interests, likes and dislikes, place of residence, family history and most importantly, voice. I'm not talking about the mere extra-sharp senses and memory that most blind people tend to have. I am talking about a deep and genuine care and concern that he had for every student (every person) he came in touch with.

During some very disturbing and chaotic times that I personally went through during my stay at IIT, Dilip was always there welcoming me with warmth and love, listening to my long hours of ramblings and outpourings, offering his insights and humble advices. He sometimes sacrificed even his favourite cricket commentaries (on his hand-held transistor) in order to listen to them! He was there with Rajeev and me right through our tough battles around our wedding decisions. (He traveled all the way across the city to be there on both days of the function!) Even after I left my job there, I made it a point to visit him almost every time I was there in the campus, every time getting introduced as 'a very good friend' to some past student (from as long back as the late 80's!) who'd be there visiting him. My most recent interactions with him were around the series of articles I've been writing on 'The History of Green Revolution' which interested him a great deal. After having carefully listened to the drafts of entire articles I'd read out to him, he would go over every single correction to be made - from grammar to historical facts - he'd have made note of in his mind.

I think of Dilip often. His words ring in my ears, most definitely every time I open my wardrobe "Hoarding is a form of violence. By keeping things out of circulation, you are contributing to poverty." How true! His ability to express childlike joy at simple things of life, and to remain compassionate and his unfailing belief in and practice of ‘satyagraha’ (winning over evil with love / soul force) will continue to inspire me till the very end. Even during times of great physical pain and discomfort, he would constantly bring back any conversation about his work, health and wellbeing, to how and what I was doing. Dilip will continue to remind me to give of myself as much as I can.

Dilip, you are being deeply missed!

Others about Dilip

Akka Paatti's Godliness

From when I can remember, my extended family (my mother has 11 siblings!) would gather everyday of the Navrathri pooja, and sing a set of 30 songs composed by Akka Paati. From the youngest toddler to the oldest thaatha and paatti, everyone knows and sings these songs even today. I never knew anything about Akka Paati until a few days ago, when my mother narrated her story to me, all choked up.

Akka Paatti was my maternal grandfather's mother's elder sister. Since my great grandmother called her 'Akka' (elder sister), my mother, aunts and uncles called her 'Akka Paatti' (elder sister - grandma). Since my grandfather's mother died at a young age, he and his siblings were all brought up by her.

Akka Paatti lived an ordinary life of a traditional housewife. But it seems like she lived an extraordinary life of a bhakta (devotee). At nights, my mother would hear her sing devotional songs, which she would ask my mother or my grandmother to write down the following morning. In her lifetime, Akka Paatti composed close to 500 songs in Tamil and Kannada in different ragas and talas, out of which only about 100 remain in print. The rest have been forgotten.

One day last week, I was there to be part of the ritualistic group singing. As we came to the 29th song in Madyamavathi ragam, I choked.

"poruthharuLvaai ippo, en thaaye poruthharuLvaai ippo

alatchiyamaaga seida abaraadatthai mannitthu,
ariyaa chiruvargalai anbudan kaakka vendum (poruththaruLvaai)

siriyOr seitha pizhayay sinandu nee koLLaamal
naan pandu pol aaraadikka paangudan veetriruppai (poruththaruLvaai)"

Mother, Please bear with them.
Forgive them for their ignorant mistakes, and protect them.
Love and forgive these children who know not what they are doing.
Don't leave in anger.
Stay here with all your grace for me to worship you everyday.

Akka Paatti knew about her death exactly 15 days before it, and asked for her son to take her to spend her last days with him. But while on her death bed, her daughter in law abused her endlessly. Akka Paatti composed this song (her very last) asking for forgiveness for her. Such extreme compassion that she was capable of speaks volumes of her goldliness! I am getting ready to learn some of her other compositions where she talks about the madness of the material world, the illusion created by the mind, and pleads God to help her dissolve her ego and its arrogance and simply surrender!

When I was young, singing Akka Paatti's songs along with my cousins used to be nothing more than a fun ritual. As I grew up, singing her songs took on newer meanings for me. This time, it was a deeply devotion-filled experience. I really felt like I bathed in her divine energy!